One of the hardest parts...

Over these past two years, I've come to discover one of the hardest parts of teaching.  It's not the lesson plans nor the incessant meetings.  It's not dealing with district administration that has forgotten what it was like to be a lowly teacher.  It's not breaking up fights in the hallway, or even being cursed at every now and again.  In my humble opinion, one of the hardest parts of teaching is seeing those students who are filled to the brim with potential to be successful, but get in their own way of success.  Other things become important... those things with immediate gratification... even when they KNOW the value a good education will bring them.


Before I continue too far on this, I should share a little background about my school.  We are an alternative school.  Our school is full of kids who slipped through cracks, were let down at other schools, and for one reason or another have not been successful... up to this point.  Because of this, we are a smaller school, with about 150 students and 10 teachers in the high school portion.  As teachers in this school, we have a wonderful opportunity to become closer to our students... really get to know who they are, where they come from. where they want to go, etc.  Sometimes it feels like you're a parent to 150 high school aged students.


Now... back to my frustration...
You can fill up your lungs and yell and scream and try to shake some common sense into those kids, but you cannot force them to chose the better path.  (Maybe I'm being a bit judgmental, saying the path of education is the better one... but I truly believe it is.)  One day those students will wake up and realize that they could have had a life of stability, a career, a life that is probably better than the one demonstrated to them by their parents. 
How do you step back and let them fall?  How do you withhold your natural instinct to catch them?  I'll tell you... it's not remotely easy... and I still haven't quite mastered it.  I know there are times when one of my colleagues ask my opinion on situations like this, and she ask, "What should we do?"  Many times I find myself, with a straight, somewhat expressionless face, saying, "There's nothing we can do.  They've made their decision."  And yet, I know in my heart that it is WAY easier to say those words and show no emotion than to actually follow through with them.  
There is a part of me that hopes the "letting them fall" thing will get easier.  But the other part of me thinks that, if it becomes easier, maybe I have lost part of my compassionate side that makes me the teacher I am.
The end of the year always reminds me of these things, because this is the time when students have to make the choice to succeed or fail.  And it's not a decision I can make for them... although maybe they'd be better off if I could. :)  Don't they know I'm always right? :)  The biggest thing that helps me get through this part of the year??  One of the best parts of teaching... which I will touch on another day... 
Enjoy your evening!