Next Year

In a word… uncertain.  I’ve spent awhile thinking that I probably had a job… especially since my principal told me that I had a 97% chance of still having my job.  At least, he told me that a few months ago.

Today I had my meeting with him in preparation of my formal observation.  While we were talking, he asked me if I was at a different school how comfortable I would be doing lesson plans, writing objectives, and writing demonstrations of learnings (DOLs).  It was so uncomfortable and awkward.  I didn’t know if was round-about trying to tell me that I wouldn’t have a job or was trying to say that there wouldn’t be any Social Studies at my school.  There is another Social Studies teacher at my school who started here after me, but is amazing, and I feel as though my principal may have been hinting that my job rests on whether or not she accepts the job. 

I am not friends with limbo.  I am not a fan of having my future in other people’s hands.  As a child, my parents constantly raised me to be determined and achieve whatever I set out to do.  And so, that is how I have lived my life.  I graduated from high school and went to college.  I finished my B. A. and then started right into my Masters program.  I worked multiple jobs for years to work my way through college and then until I got a full time teaching position.  Now I’m realizing that finding a social studies teaching position in our current climate may be next to impossible.  So even though I’m refining my resume and asking my people to write letters of recommendations for me, I am also pondering what else can I do with my life.  I have spent SO long in school, and student teaching, and substituting in order to be a teacher.  I can’t even imagine trying to do all that for another job.  I know I am very capable of doing plenty of other jobs, but I don’t have the same love behind those jobs.  I love teaching.  There is the potential for us to have a lot of change in our lives right now… there is a lot of uncertainty…

“Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

My Letter... slightly edited...

I understand that you have many decisions to make throughout your job, and you believe that you are making these choices in the best interest of the school district.  I believe, however, that one of your decisions is not in the best interest of this school district.  At this point, I understand that the decision has been made, but I still feel that it is important for you to hear the consequences of your decision.

I am a teacher at __________.  Yesterday afternoon, we had to tell our juniors and seniors that next year they would not be allowed to return to this school.  The graduating class of 2011 would be our last graduating class.  They had a variety of reactions.  Some of our students (male and female alike) began to silently cry.  Others got angry and expressed feelings of betrayal.  Most feel as though the school district is setting them up for failure.   The last period of the day required teachers to try and keep students focused on the lesson, and not on their feelings of helplessness.

Our school is rare.  It is not like large high schools, such as _________ and _________, and that is exactly its purpose.  Our students left those large schools for various reasons.  Although some were expelled for behavior issues, others were falling through the cracks at their other schools.  They felt as though no one could see them in their classrooms of 30+ students.  Some require special attention, either because of low skill set, or because of special needs.  At __________, we are more than capable, and in fact, very successful at addressing these needs for students.  Many of our students have expressed that this is the first school they have felt successful.  Other students feel as though, once they cannot return here, they will have no place else to go.  Sure, there are other alternative schools in __________, but transportation is a huge issue.  Many need our bus system, or walk to school.  City buses may not be an option because of costs.

According to your new plan, you are expecting to force change in this community.  You are demanding that parents take responsibility for their students, and I can respect that.  The changes in our school, however, will hinder many of these students in our community.  It is one more time that they are being told they are not good enough.  It is as though we are saying they are not good enough for us to keep a school open to them, a school in which they feel at home.

As teachers, we spend more time with these students than their parents.  Unlike at big high schools, we have smaller classes, which allow to truly get to know our students, work with them one-on-one, and watch them grow into success stories.  For many of these students, because they do not get much support at home, we are the ones attempting to teach them how to make wise decisions and weigh the consequences of their actions.  Sending them back to a place they have been unsuccessful is participating in the cycle of insanity: hoping for a different outcome from the same action.

I may not be entirely clear on what your philosophy is on alternative education, but I can say that our school is not a school where we simply take in strays and babysit students until they are old enough to drop out or have enough credits to graduate.  We work under the idea that not every person on this planet fits into a box.  We all think and act differently, and every person can be successful.  There have plenty of studies done on different learning styles, including Howard Garnder, brain-based research, differentiation research, etc.  The list goes on.  In large classrooms, it is nearly impossible for teachers to differentiate for all learners.  The solution is not to close schools and force more students into classes.  One solution, which I strongly believe in, is alternative education.  It is NOT about simplifying the curriculum so students can succeed.  It IS about teaching curriculum in a manner that works for students’ individual needs.  With smaller class sizes, teachers have a better ability to differentiate and assist students in the learning process.

I believe that the idea for having better remediation for students in order to meet proficiency standards is an excellent idea.  Remediation, however, does not have to be at the expense of the rest of the alternative school.  We are all in education.  It is not for the money or the glory.  We all know the acts of educators are often unsung.  Instead, we got into this career because we love students.  We want to see them grow; all of them grow.  Education is not about the students who everyone expects to succeed.  There are those who love school, who find it easy, and will easily become one of those people who goes on to become a lawyer, doctor, or even president.  The world, however, is not solely made up of these students.  There are students who struggle with reading, who have a hard time working in large groups, who find math nearly impossible.  In the outside world, there are jobs that suit these people’s needs and desires.  Why should there not be an educational program that suits these needs as well?  It is not logical to believe that all students will be successful in the same environments.

When we left the meeting yesterday, a fellow teacher asked one of my students who had started to cry, how he was doing.  He told her he wasn’t going to drop out.  His exact comment was, “That’s what they want us to do.”  What kind of education system have we created when our students think our district is hoping they give up and fail?  I found it hopeful that he would stand against obstacles, but I do not think that bravery came from the district.  It came from his teachers who have worked with him for two years, reminding him that nothing can get in his way but himself.  This is an example of one instance where the teachers have made a difference, not because they had high test scores, or because the student had perfect attendance, but because some students are not naturally born with bravery, they have to be taught.  

Eliminating the juniors and seniors from __________ is a mistake.  Closing __________ is a mistake.  I stand by these students, and I am heart-broken to have informed them of their fate for next year.  It has been the only time that I have been ashamed to be a representative of this district, a district that believes my students do not deserve the best and most suited education.  I hope that you will consider my story when you have to make decisions about ­­­__________ in the future. 

Thank you for taking a few moments to read this letter.

Writing a Letter

When I was growing up, my Grandpa was a very strong-willed, stubborn man.  If something was happening that he didn’t approve of, he would write a letter.  To be more specific, he would pull out his typewriter and type a letter.  To me, it seemed as though he was never afraid of what would happen once he sent the letter.  If Grandpa felt so strongly to write a letter, then he was willing to take the consequences of his letter as well.  I feel that the time has arrived for me to follow in Grandpa’s footsteps, and write a letter.

Yesterday we had a meeting with all of our juniors and seniors.  We had to tell them that, as of next year, we will not have juniors and seniors any more.  We will solely be a remediation school in order to pull freshmen and sophomores up to proficiency in reading, writing, and math.  They are eliminating all electives from our school.  One thing we did not tell our students was that in December, the superintendent had actually decided to close our school.  Our principal fought for us to stay afloat.  And yet, this rescue boat we’re left with feels as though it is still being pulled toward a waterfall and we won’t exist after next year.

I get that people have different philosophies, especially about alternative education.  I’ve heard all the arguments.  “Why can’t those kids just shape up and succeed at a regular high school?”  Well, here’s my question for those arguments, “Do all people think and work in the safe fashion?  Why should we expect students to all learn the same?”  The truth is, there are work places for those who are good at math.  There are places for those who love to work with a lot of people and for those who would prefer to work alone.  There are places for people who are artistic and for those who are logical.  What in the world would make us think that a regular education high school, with 30+ students in one room, is the most efficient way to teach everyone?

Here’s another truth.  I love writing in my blog.  I love feeling as though I have an outlet and people to hear my screams about the frustrations in my district.  But these screams aren’t being heard at the level that can make a difference.  So, I’m writing a letter to the superintendent.

I had contemplated signing it anonymously, especially after hearing the type of retaliation that has been taken against teachers who’ve spoken out against the district. The longer I though, however, I realized that I am not breaking any laws.  There is nothing illegal about voicing an opinion.  In fact, I wrote a polite letter with passion.  I think I’ll finish editing it today and then mail it out.  All of our programs are getting cut: Adult and Family Ed, our expulsion program, our middle school behavior modification program, and our night school.  There will be absolutely nothing alternative about our school anymore, and it makes me sad.  So I’m writing a letter.


"I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."
-Edward Everett Hale

Failed!

Albert Einstein once defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.  Apparently that is what is administration at my district is doing.

Action has failed.  Our plan to educate our students has been shot down so quickly.  Apparently the administration doesn’t feel it is necessary that our students are properly taught about the consequences of becoming teen parents.

What is the logic in allowing students to grow up and make uneducated choices?  They don’t fully understand the consequences of their actions, and as a teacher, I should have the ability to ensure they do understand.  But the man is yet again holding us down and duct taping our mouths.  In our heads, we scream, but outwardly we are forbidden to help.

Our superintendent claims that he has big plans to get our parents and community more involved in students’ education, and yet he doesn’t see the need to help create a more educated community?  How does that make sense?

I do understand the argument that public schools should only be expected to teach so much, but here’s my thought, why shouldn’t we teach as much as we possibly can?  I know teachers.  They have a strong, nurturing behavior, and a desire to help students as much as possible.  They care about their students, otherwise they wouldn’t be willing to work at home or on the weekends.  They wouldn’t deal with the challenges of teaching if they didn’t love their kids.  Being told you’re not allowed to help or educate is going against everything it is in our nature to do. 

It’s a big fat failure…

ACTION!

Since I last wrote, I'm sad to say there's been one more report of a teen pregnancy at my school.  BUT, action has started.  For ONCE, we are able to attempt to be proactive.  Next week, our two school nurses will be presenting (along side some local medical workers) the truth about pregnancy.  Here's an example of why my students need this.  One of my girls was squinting at the board.  She mentioned how she had to sit closer to see the board.  When asked why she wasn't wearing her glasses, she said that her sister told her that wearing glasses is bad for her baby, so she can't wear them until her baby is born.  
Anyway, we are having this HUGE meeting, and we are going to start discussions with our district to provide contraception for students at a need/ask basis.  I understand people's objection to contraception based on various belief systems, but here's my thought.  My students aren't getting the moral teachings at home to keep them from having teenage/pre-marital sex, and as much as we talk with them about EVERYTHING, they don't listen to us.  So, maybe SOME of them will be safe and not end up with babies at 15.  
Finally, we are going to talk to the boys.  They need to know that they will be held accountable for this baby the rest of their lives.  It isn't true that there are no monitory ramifications simply because the boys are under 18.  In fact, there are no age limits to child support, and should someone claim bankruptcy, it is the only debt that is not erased.
It's nice to feel like maybe there is something we can do as a staff, especially since we are so often broken records to our students.  Maybe when they hear from nurses, doctors, and lawyers, they will think twice about their choices.  Action feels good! 
"We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values.  For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people."  
-Pres. John F. Kennedy

An Epidemic that Breaks My Heart

It’s official.  I have declared that there is an epidemic running rampant through my school.  What is it, you ask?  Pregnancy.  It absolutely breaks my heart to confess, but it’s true.  Today another one of my girls told me she just found out she is pregnant.  This year alone, I have had 12 pregnant ladies, and that is not including the girls who are already teen moms.  It is absolutely out of control, and there seems to be nothing we can do to help.  Usually, in situations like these, we say the answer is education.  But education seems not to have worked… or maybe it isn’t enough education.

According to our school district, we have to stress abstinence only, but can give a little bit of “worldly knowledge” if appropriate.  I understand that it would be wonderful if our students practiced abstinence, but they don’t.  In the environment they grow up in, their parents don’t enforce abstinence, so the students think that means they can do whatever they’d like.  As a teacher, I do build relationships with my students, and I share with them some facts.  If they are going to be sexually active, they have to be safe.  We discuss STDs, where to find protection, and mostly, pregnancy.  I had a student once who confessed that she had never been told “It only takes one time”.  She assumed that because she’d only had sex once, she couldn’t be pregnant.  To me, that means that our youth are making choices without being fully informed.  They’re OBVIOUSLY not getting this information at home from parents, and most have parents who were teens when they had my students.  It is a vicious cycle of insanity that very few people can figure out how to break.

Why?  Why teen pregnancy?  Here is what I think.  The biggest problem is the falling values in many of my students’ homes.  Values I was raised with are things they are not taught.  For example, I was taught that I could grow up and fulfill all my dreams, if I worked hard enough.  I was taught that I should finish high school, go to college, and get the rest of myself in order. THEN I can start my family and feel remotely stable enough to raise kids and have support from my husband, who’ll be as stable as I am.  These values were instilled in me since I was small.  My students don’t get these same values.  In fact, they see all the benefits of having young, single moms in their household.  Their parents are excited and SUPPORT their decision to keep the baby.  The amount of state funding that goes towards single mothers is astronomical.  It is actually a benefit to many homes because they qualify for more state support.  What breaks my heart even more is that many of these families don’t understand the benefit and freedom of working towards what they have.  Coming from a family that once had a single mother; I understand that there are some people who deserve a little help.  The difference is that when my mom was a single mother raising a 1 and 3 year old, she already had a career that could help her.  We didn’t have the most posh life at that time, but what we had, Mom worked for.  It’s the reason she is such a huge inspiration for me.  There was no milking the system… she earned her life.  And now she has earned her retirement. 

One final thought.  It breaks my heart that my students don’t understand and fully think through their options.  I understand that some people are opposed to abortions, and that is fine.  Our students, however, don’t think twice about the benefits of giving their child up for adoption.  They have crude, naïve thoughts like, “If you’re adult enough to spread your legs, you should be adult enough to deal with the consequences.”  They don’t realize that the “consequence” is a baby, and that baby is a human being.  If they love that baby so much, they should realize that can’t provide a life that child deserves.  There are so many couples who can’t have babies and have to result to adoptions.  These couples have stable jobs and are loving and kind.  They could give these children anything in the world.  They could show these children a life outside of this one city.  These children could go to college, or travel the world, or simply know what it’s like to go grocery shopping anytime and not have to wait for the food stamps that week.  Yet, my students feel that they need to raise their baby and the only life affected by their decision is themselves.  That idea proves our self-centered these young girls are, and you can’t be self-centered if you’re going to raise another person.  The baby HAS to come first.

I know I’m ranting at this part, but this makes me so sad.  And I feel so helpless that I just want to scream.

"Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final"

- Rainer Maria Rilke

Cold days

The temperatures have dropped DRASTICALLY!  As a result, we have had two school days called.  First of all, call me shocked!  My district never calls school.  We've had 2 school delays since I started 3 years ago, and never a school day called.  Now, we've had two in a row!  Secondly, how much sense does it make for our superintendent to call our schools closed but "recommend" that teachers show up for a workday?  So, since we were instructed to go in, we did... at least teachers at my school did.  Apparently almost no other schools called teachers in AND my principal spent the day putting together a dirt bike in our cafeteria with our gym teacher.  While teachers were upstairs working on... well, work... he was downstairs playing.  Our decision... leave at 10:30.  
I love teacher workdays.  I really do.  They can be so productive!  BUT, usually I know about these workdays in advance, so I can create a plan.  When I have a plan, I can work for hours in my classroom.  But, this is how my teacher workday happened today.  I was just getting out of the shower when my coworker called (waking the hubby) to tell me school was closed today.  Well, by that point I'm wide awake, so I decided to curl up with my blanket on my favorite IKEA chair in our loft, and continued reading Atlas Shrugged.  About 45 minutes later, I get another call saying that the principal left a message on her voicemail saying that it's recommended teachers come in for a workday.  Lounging in my chair was not the best place for me to attempt to get my "work mode" brain going.  So, I figured if I got my grades done, that would be good.  Well... I went into school, and that's all I got done.  I couldn't think of anything else to work on.  My brain was on "school closed" day.
I will say, however, I fully support calling Cold Days.  There's is only a certain point that we can expect students to stand outside waiting for a bus or to walk to school, especially if the kids are in a low socio-economic status and can't afford jackets, etc.  Back home, when I was growing up, we expected to walk to school in the negatives, but here, that's not the usual weather.  Maybe this will mean both teachers and students will be fully rested for the rest of the week... ah, cozy at home...


"If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it."
-Herodotus

What defines history?

I've been wondering about this for a few days... ever since my principal showed me the new outline of what my superintendent expects to have us teach for American History next year.  Apparently my superintendent has decided that high schools will have a year of American History from 1950 to the present because "that's all he taught when he taught history."  First of all, I don't think that's a quantifiable reason to determine the curriculum change.  Secondly, how do you teach A YEAR of courses on only 60 years?  And finally, how can I be sure that the students understand everything that happened before 1950?  They are young and immature in high school, and our history is FILLED with things that need be delved into deeper than middle schoolers can do.  For example, the fear of Communism really started in America in about 1919.  In high school, I'd be starting the Cold War.  How am I suppose to get the to truly understand the fear that ran through the nation, if I'm suppose to start when that fear explodes?  Which means I'll be teaching the early things anyway, so they might as well let me keep American History from Post-Civil war on.  
I know it's not obvious, but I'm not a fan of my superintendent.  He's one of those guys who makes a decision and that's the end of discussion.  No taking anyone else into account.  I understand that this CAN be a good quality, depending on the situation, but when you're changing a curriculum, you should talk to someone who is a professional at writing curriculum AND talk to people who have specialized in that core area.  For example, there are plenty of teachers in this district who are continuing their education in history, AND are good educators.  Those are people who should be allowed to give feedback.  I feel that sometimes administration makes decisions and believes they're the correct decisions simply because they work in administration.  They feel that teachers should just be amazing at everything (which is what we are, so I understand that) but if we could have input, we'd at least be able to understand what and WHY we're teaching certain things.  I just feel that I am a better teacher if I understand the purpose and benefit to the kids. What is the purpose of only truly understand current history but NOT understanding how we got here?  Isn't it crucial for them to understand the mistakes of our forefathers so we can do better?  So we can be better?  I wish that some people in power would get rid of their arrogance and admit that they don't have all the answers.  It's a sign of strength to show you don't know everything, not a sign of weakness.  The weakness is being afraid to ask for help in making the best choice.


"It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more 'manhood' to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex.  Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind."  - Alex Karras