Loss of focus

It's my loss of focus day.  I have been focused on school work all day, trying to get some planning done for tomorrow and sub plans lined up for Monday, but that just doesn't seem to be happening.  I'm not sure how this happened, but I'm starting to realize I work MUCH better at the dining room table with Netflix on in the background than sitting on the couch with Clash of the Titans on in front of me.  There's something about sitting at the table.  Regardless, it's funny to me to think that a simple location change could help me get some work done.  It's also funny that I've had these thoughts for the past hour and have yet to move, even though I realize that the sooner I move, the sooner I sleep tonight.  
Things at work are going surprisingly well, however, considering all the big changes coming.  They're making our school a "true" alternative school, so we will no longer be the district's dumping ground for students they don't feel like dealing with.  Instead, we will actually teach students that WANT to improve their skills and be successful in life!  Amazing concept!  I'm so excited for these changes to take place... as long as I still have a job at the school.  But that's neither here nor there right now.  I really should spend my time focusing on how to prove I'm the best choice for the job.  I suppose that to demonstrate my awesome-ness, I should get up and move to create some phenomenal lesson plans... we'll see how well that works.
One challenge we're having at school is getting fed up with some teachers.  For example, our SPED teacher almost completely relies on our literacy teacher to create lesson plans.  The literacy teacher is getting so irritated that the other teacher is constantly dependent on her to do all the planning, data gathering, testing, etc.  And she's beginning to slowly break down, since she's non-confrontational.  She doesn't want to mention anything to the principal, because she loves the SPED teacher (as a human... NOT as a co-worker) and because she does not like to "get people into trouble".  We (her and I) blame it on her Catholic guilt.  This is only one of a hundred issues we're starting to have.  You can tell that people at their breaking point.  I'm hoping all stays calm until May 20th... can we make it 5 months and stay in 1 piece?  We'll find out...

Hope for life...

I have been thinking lately what to hope for in my life.  What is the ultimate desire for my future?  When I am 90 years old, and rolling around in my wheel chair, what do I hope to have accomplished and be happy about?  Here's what I've discovered:

I want to have lived a wonderful, adventure, and love-filled with my husband... and he'd be in the wheel chair right next to me. 

I want to be surrounded by people I love, and who still love me. 

I want to be filled with joy.

I want to know that, when I look back on my life, I was the best teacher I could, and I touched lives.

I know that it's unfair to imagine miracles, but I hope that students learn something from me, and I can watch them walk across the stage and graduate.  I want to know that I helped them succeed and that I helped make that smile on their faces.

Looking at my life up to this point, there have been imperfect moments, and times when I have made HUGE mistakes, but I've rebounded and been so blessed with the life I have.  I just hope that I remember what I want from life and keep working towards those dreams.  I hope to keep my hope. 

Changes...

People are not fans of change.  They don't adapt well.  As a species, humans reject change.  I have respect for any person that has to tell a group of about big change happening at their workplace.  Like yesterday, for example.  My principal sat us all down to tell us that two of our programs were being cut, and for us, that means that the principal is going to decide 6 people to cut from our school.  There is only one other Social Studies teacher in our building, and she is AMAZING!  She is so wonderful with our students, and so creative.  She has this instant capability of touching our students hearts... of touching people's heart.  And I adore her.  And I'm worried our principal is going to keep her.  I know she deserves the job, and is amazing, but I love my job too.  I love teaching, and I'm not ready to have that taken away yet.  So... I'm not really sure how to handle this potential change.  If only they could have two Social Studies teachers... there is definitely enough work for the both of us!  One teacher teaching all four required Social Studies classes is not simple.  It gets exhausting.  Maybe I can find a way to help keep both of us...


"If we don't change, we don't grow.  If we don't grow, we aren't really living." -Gail Sheehy

Overwhelmed...

It's true... teachers get overwhelmed, just like students do.  I already have my regular workload of creating lesson plans, grading, and teaching, but I've also decided to finish my masters.  In the past, I've taken classes and it hasn't been an issue, but this one is more intense.  Here's my problem.  I've been chosen to present at the NCHE annual conference in South Carolina, which is AMAZING!  I presented at lasts year's, but this year's presentation, I have to do much more research for our presentation.  We are using local archives and primary sources to argue that the Civil War in the east caused the Civil War between the Natives and the settlers.  This is going to require me to go to local museum archives, state archives, and lots of research.  But, now I'm also taking a summer class, which also wouldn't be so bad, except that it requires reading and writing papers due in 5 months.  It's all of a sudden become a ridiculous amount of reading, working, paper writing, etc.  I told my husband that I'm going to have to have a "study day" once a week (at least) where I spend the day away from home so I could get some work done.  How did I get myself into this predicament?  I think this is also going to require me to pause on my application writing for a new job opportunity.  And when does this overwhelmed stuff end?  Is it possible to push off my school reading until after my presentation?  Can I read 5 books and write 4 papers in three months?  I guess we'll find out...  

Why I love history...

I've been pondering other options for careers, in case all goes wrong with my school and I can't find another education job.  So, here's what I've thought of so far... being as I'm the biggest nerd I know, I've been thinking about something in research.  But, I don't know if I'd be a good scholarly researcher, trying to find new ways to see historical events that have been analyzed for years.  I do, however, LOVE to learn.  I was thinking I could be a research/article writer for a website.  All the fun of researching and learning without having to constantly re-analyze.  I'm not nearly as smart as historical scholars, and I don't want to pretend to be.  According to my friend (and article editor) I have a style of writing that she likes and develops throughout my writings... so that's good, right?  My current project is an application article on William Wallace... the truth behind the myth.  So far, I think it's pretty good.  I'm going for informative without repetative and OVER informed.  Maybe I'll attach it when I've completed it.  Regardless, it's really fun to try something new and remember what made me love history so much.  They are full of those qualities that make us love and hate humanity.  The things the give us hope and make us cry.  They teach us how to be the people we want to be.  We learn from history like we learn from older brothers and sisters.  History reminds us that one wrong turn can change us into the type of people we fear the most, BUT it can also help us remember how valuable and fragile life is.  We do not need to watch Disney movies to see heros and villians.  History is full of real life ones.  Villians such as Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Rasputin, Heinrich Himmler, Kim II Sung, Valdemir Lenin, Mao Zedong, Benito Mussolini, Josef Mengele, Ivan the Terrible, Pol Pot, Vlad the Impaler, H. H. Holmes (and all other serial killers, murderers, etc.)  You get my point.  But our history, our world is FULL of heroes.  There are the ones that are famous: Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., Joan of Arc, Florence Nightengale, Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Mozart, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Galileo, Theodore Roosevelt, Benjamin Franklin, Jackie Robinson, etc.  But then we are also blessed enough to have unsung heroes.  For example, the men and women that fight to protect their country from harm so people may sleep safely in their beds; the parents that teach their children to dream big and never give up; the friends that always stand by your side through thick and thin; the children who's smiles melt your heart because you know they are filled with pure, unadulterated love.  Heroes surround us everyday, and have created who we have become.  History tells their tales.

Food for thought...

President Abraham Lincoln once said "I am a firm believer in the people.  If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis.  The great point is to bring them the facts."  I was thinking about this last night as things have begun to change even more and rumors have started to spread throughout my school.  I'm used to some rumors, but our school is small... we all know each other and are open with each other.  Rumors are very common for us.  To quickly summarize, people, including our principal, have begun to hint at big changes for us next year... and they are hinted at not being good.  In fact, when one of our teachers was talking to our principal about starting to look for new jobs, his exact response was "It's going to get worse."  Well, that's encouraging.
Back to Pres. Lincoln.  I know that throughout the district, decisions take time to solidify.  My principal has been complaining that the teachers aren't "bouncing back" as we normally do.  We're not rolling with the punches as well as we usually do.  Here's my thought.  How are people suppose to bounce back if we only get little bomb shells at a time?  Why not just drop the big bomb, give us time to process everything (even if it's not all completely solidified) and then let us move on.  If parts of the decision get changed or are improved, excellent.  We've already dealt with the big bomb.  The little bombs just keep bringing us down and forcing us to process.  By the time we process, there's a new bomb.  All I'm saying, is give people all the facts.  Let them make decisions based on all the information... not on part.  Afterall, we are an educated group of people.  Have some faith in us.

Post Break

Ah... the first week back after holiday break.  It's unexplainable.  You wake up in the morning, and forget that you have to go to work.  Start autopilot.  Get up, get in the shower, get ready for the day... it's the same routine from before break, but there's no sense of urgency.  There's no solid thoughts like, "What am I doing in first period today?" or "Do I have all my grading/copies/etc ready?"  Instead it's, "What time do I have leave for work?"  The students are even better.  About half have showed up so far this week, and I'm pretty sure the majority of them are thinking "........"  or there might be the occasional "Paper... do I have paper?  Pencil?  Bed?"  You'd think after two weeks off, we'd all be back a-rarin' to go.  And yet, not the case.  I don't know if it's because this year is extraordinarily challenging with all of the changes, or if its just because we're so used to sleeping in.  Regardless, it's been a rough start after break.  It's reasons like these that I'm a believer in year-round school.  The schools wouldn't go everyday, like businesses, but breaks would be shorter and more spaced out.  I have to admit, having a summer break isn't the easiest thing.  Two months off (or in some areas 3) is hard to come back from... NOT that it's not deserved.  I think it'd be hard for anyone to return to work after all that time off.  AND, it's nice to have projects to keep you busy, but let's admit, projects are year 'round, not just in the summer.  There are many times I think about wanting to clear out my basement of boxes and uselessness since my husband has moved in.  And that's not really a project I want to do during the summer, when we're working on our yard or other household projects.  Maybe it's simply redoing a bedroom.  Not a weekend project.  I strongly believe that students would retain more knowledge if breaks were slimmed down and spread throughout the year.  You would still have time off to let your brain recuperate, but it wouldn't be so long that you can't even remember what you were doing before you left.  And teachers would have time to rest AND extra time to plan units in advance instead of always taking work home at night or doing it on the weekends.  There are many days I want to just work on plans... I remember my graduate days when I would head to a coffee shop and sit for HOURS working and researching for plans.  I would love to have time throughout the year to do that, without always giving up my weekends with my spouse.  Maybe that's a change for another day... but I do think it's a far more worthy change than the one currently being implemented in my district.

Defining a new year

How is a year defined?  Technically a year is 365 days or 8,760 hours, or 525,600 minutes, or even 31,536,000 seconds.  But that's not how people define their years.  People don't sit around and count how many minutes they've spent doing x or y (at least I hope they don't do that).  Eventually we'll look at how people define a year, but before that, let's look at a quick summary of the history of New Years.
For starters, according to our Gregorian Calendar (and the ancient Roman and Julian Calendars) New Years lands in January.  January got its name Janus, the Roman mythical god of gates, doors, doorways, etc.  He has a head with two faces: one that faces backwards and one forwards.  In relation to the New Year, Janus looks back on our past year and forward to the year ahead.  Considering the name of the month is based on a Roman god, it is guessed that this holiday is based in pagan traditions.  The decision to have our calendar year go from January to December dates back to about 700 B. C.  Another tradition indicates that January 1 was the day Jesus was circumcised, and this has since been the first day of our year.  
One more point to clarify is that not all the world celebrates New Years on January 1.  There are others who celebrate January 14, some that celebrate in March, April, and even June.  All of these differences are based on different belief systems and calendars used.
NOW, let's ponder how a year is actually defined by people... and me.
1.  People:
     What has changed and what has stayed the same?  I have had the joy to add some people into my life.  A new sister-in-law and niece were added to our lives.  What a blessing they are!!  And, my other sister and brother-in-law adopted a baby boy, who got to come home on Christmas Day!  He's my new godson as well.  It is such a blessing to add these wonderful people into my life this year.  
      But, it's not all about additions.  It's also about those things that stay the same.  I have an amazing husband... going on our second year of marriage.  We both had wonderful family that bring joy and smiles to our faces.  And friends.  There's no forgetting friends.  We still are blessed to have old and new friends in our lives.  This Christmas, one of my oldest friends (we've known each other since we were 3) asked me to be in her wedding next year.  I am so excited and honored that we are still close enough for me to stand up in her wedding.  There are people in our lives that will always touch my heart, and it's a wonderful feeling to know that another year has passed by and they are still there. 
2.  Adventures:
     Travels!  What have we done this year that makes it different from any other year?  Well, there was the large trip to Europe that my hubby and I took for our anniversary/honeymoon.  We also had trips for weddings and other gatherings.  For example, we went to Arizona for a friend's wedding and then Texas for a family wedding. 
     Travels aren't the only kind of adventures, however.  We bought a new dog, so we have two crazy animals running around the house.  They are high energy and love playing with laser pointers.  
3.  Job/Career:
     Well, I suppose looking at changes in jobs/careers is also a way to define a year.  For me, this year is  has included a lot of changes... not necessarily for the good.  The performance based pay system has been implemented... and not to the benefit of anyone, really.  (Personal opinion).  Although this has caused me more stress than I want to think about on vacation, it has given me the opportunity to reflect on my current position in life.  I absolutely LOVE teaching, but how good of a teacher am I when I doing things I don't believe in?  When I'm forced to give tests that don't benefit the students?  When I have to spend my time rushing through curriculum and not do an adequate job diving into depth with topics, how good of a teacher am I really?  So, throughout this reflection, I've had a chance to think about other options.  Different districts.  After finishing my Masters this summer, I'll be able to teach at a community college for a change of pace, if I want.  OR, I could do something completely different and work as an independent researcher, expanding my history knowledge and writing articles condensing this information.  But... that decision is for another year. 
How might others define a year?  Maybe there was sadness?  Maybe there were hardships?  Maybe there were births?  However you define a year, I hope you survived your year happy and the start of your new years is auspicious!