An Epidemic that Breaks My Heart

It’s official.  I have declared that there is an epidemic running rampant through my school.  What is it, you ask?  Pregnancy.  It absolutely breaks my heart to confess, but it’s true.  Today another one of my girls told me she just found out she is pregnant.  This year alone, I have had 12 pregnant ladies, and that is not including the girls who are already teen moms.  It is absolutely out of control, and there seems to be nothing we can do to help.  Usually, in situations like these, we say the answer is education.  But education seems not to have worked… or maybe it isn’t enough education.

According to our school district, we have to stress abstinence only, but can give a little bit of “worldly knowledge” if appropriate.  I understand that it would be wonderful if our students practiced abstinence, but they don’t.  In the environment they grow up in, their parents don’t enforce abstinence, so the students think that means they can do whatever they’d like.  As a teacher, I do build relationships with my students, and I share with them some facts.  If they are going to be sexually active, they have to be safe.  We discuss STDs, where to find protection, and mostly, pregnancy.  I had a student once who confessed that she had never been told “It only takes one time”.  She assumed that because she’d only had sex once, she couldn’t be pregnant.  To me, that means that our youth are making choices without being fully informed.  They’re OBVIOUSLY not getting this information at home from parents, and most have parents who were teens when they had my students.  It is a vicious cycle of insanity that very few people can figure out how to break.

Why?  Why teen pregnancy?  Here is what I think.  The biggest problem is the falling values in many of my students’ homes.  Values I was raised with are things they are not taught.  For example, I was taught that I could grow up and fulfill all my dreams, if I worked hard enough.  I was taught that I should finish high school, go to college, and get the rest of myself in order. THEN I can start my family and feel remotely stable enough to raise kids and have support from my husband, who’ll be as stable as I am.  These values were instilled in me since I was small.  My students don’t get these same values.  In fact, they see all the benefits of having young, single moms in their household.  Their parents are excited and SUPPORT their decision to keep the baby.  The amount of state funding that goes towards single mothers is astronomical.  It is actually a benefit to many homes because they qualify for more state support.  What breaks my heart even more is that many of these families don’t understand the benefit and freedom of working towards what they have.  Coming from a family that once had a single mother; I understand that there are some people who deserve a little help.  The difference is that when my mom was a single mother raising a 1 and 3 year old, she already had a career that could help her.  We didn’t have the most posh life at that time, but what we had, Mom worked for.  It’s the reason she is such a huge inspiration for me.  There was no milking the system… she earned her life.  And now she has earned her retirement. 

One final thought.  It breaks my heart that my students don’t understand and fully think through their options.  I understand that some people are opposed to abortions, and that is fine.  Our students, however, don’t think twice about the benefits of giving their child up for adoption.  They have crude, naïve thoughts like, “If you’re adult enough to spread your legs, you should be adult enough to deal with the consequences.”  They don’t realize that the “consequence” is a baby, and that baby is a human being.  If they love that baby so much, they should realize that can’t provide a life that child deserves.  There are so many couples who can’t have babies and have to result to adoptions.  These couples have stable jobs and are loving and kind.  They could give these children anything in the world.  They could show these children a life outside of this one city.  These children could go to college, or travel the world, or simply know what it’s like to go grocery shopping anytime and not have to wait for the food stamps that week.  Yet, my students feel that they need to raise their baby and the only life affected by their decision is themselves.  That idea proves our self-centered these young girls are, and you can’t be self-centered if you’re going to raise another person.  The baby HAS to come first.

I know I’m ranting at this part, but this makes me so sad.  And I feel so helpless that I just want to scream.

"Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final"

- Rainer Maria Rilke