Free time? What is this thing you speak of? Vacation time? No schoolwork (at least I'm pretending I have no work to do)?? How shall I spend my days?! Well, since the military sometimes likes to toy with my schedule, we can't leave to go home for Christmas until the 23rd (sad). AND, that means I am spending a week alone while not working. So... what to do... I have some ideas. There's the required packing to vacation that has to (eventually) get done. There's also the expected cleaning... which surprisingly, I've almost completed! Amazing!! And then there's the required books I have to read for my class. But, let's be honest... none of that is really fun. Instead, I've managed to spend my days watching Bones on Netflix or a variety of other movies. I also bought a Sistine Chapel puzzle from Target that is calming and challenging. Fantastic! It's a 2000 piece puzzle... my hardest yet. I do realize that as I tell this tale, I depict my clear nerdiness, but Grandma always told me to keep my brain active. Other activities so far this week? Hanging out at the Post Office (which is NO fun), baking pizza (because I don't want to cook), and playing laser pointer with the dogs (because that's the easiest way to tire them out). One other thing I learned this week so far... washing a tarp is an activity best done NOT in the washing machine. Good times! :) As fun as my week has been so far, I can't wait to head up to the beautiful winter wonderland that awaits our Christmas celebration! Snow shoeing across the lake; wearing my wolf fur hat; seeing my family! VERY exciting! I really am one of those people who enjoys my family. So, this free time that people speak of... I have decided I LOVE IT!!
"Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home!"
-Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Respect - v. - to consider worthy of high regard.
It's a simple enough definition, but in today's society, this word holds a lot of power. I always hear students talk to me about how a teacher or fellow student doesn't respect them, so why should they show respect. That's a simple enough explanation. Here's the part I don't understand. How can people demand respect? Is it right for students to instantly respect teachers because we're "authority figures"? Should teachers instantly respect students because the students demand respect? I believe this idea applies all over the place.
I also believe people have overused this word repsect. They throw it around like everyone deserves respect, but I don't think that's true. I think everyone deserves to be treated kindly, and I believe that people who will earn the most respect will always treat others respectfully. BUT, people still have to earn others respect... they have to be somebody that others consider worthy of high regard. And, sad to say, I don't think everyone in this world deserves that. I wonder if there is a way to teach this idea to my students. How do I teach them the difference between being respectful and giving someone their respect.
And so, I end my random ramblings today hoping that you will ponder the difference and understand that being respectful doesn't necessarily mean that you are giving respect.
“I respect the man who knows distinctly what he wishes. The greater part of all mischief in the world arises from the fact that men do not sufficiently understand their own aims. They have undertaken to build a tower, and spend no more labor on the foundation than would be necessary to erect a hut.”
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It's a simple enough definition, but in today's society, this word holds a lot of power. I always hear students talk to me about how a teacher or fellow student doesn't respect them, so why should they show respect. That's a simple enough explanation. Here's the part I don't understand. How can people demand respect? Is it right for students to instantly respect teachers because we're "authority figures"? Should teachers instantly respect students because the students demand respect? I believe this idea applies all over the place.
I also believe people have overused this word repsect. They throw it around like everyone deserves respect, but I don't think that's true. I think everyone deserves to be treated kindly, and I believe that people who will earn the most respect will always treat others respectfully. BUT, people still have to earn others respect... they have to be somebody that others consider worthy of high regard. And, sad to say, I don't think everyone in this world deserves that. I wonder if there is a way to teach this idea to my students. How do I teach them the difference between being respectful and giving someone their respect.
And so, I end my random ramblings today hoping that you will ponder the difference and understand that being respectful doesn't necessarily mean that you are giving respect.
“I respect the man who knows distinctly what he wishes. The greater part of all mischief in the world arises from the fact that men do not sufficiently understand their own aims. They have undertaken to build a tower, and spend no more labor on the foundation than would be necessary to erect a hut.”
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Friday, December 3, 2010
I forgot a quote for the week:
“The future enters into us, in order to transform itself in us, long before it happens.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke
“The future enters into us, in order to transform itself in us, long before it happens.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke
Teaching American History Grant
If there are two things that go together like oil and water, it's education and politics. As a teacher, all I see coming from politics is... BAD. Currently, politics are causing me to have district test scores determine my pay... AND district tests are not beneficial to students whatsoever. They don't determine which classes students should be put in. They don't determine student's ability or any accommodations students may need.
BUT, the government has done one thing great for education: the Teaching American History Grant. Amazing! This grant was created to ensure history educators had extra history/pedagogy classes. This way teachers were constantly on top of current pedagogy and could be constant lifelong learners WITHOUT spending an arm and a leg on tuitions.
Here is how I have been blessed with the Teaching American History grant:
I will have completed my last 8 masters credits with TAH grant classes
Last spring, I had the opportunity to present at the National Council for History Educators conference... and I have the same opportunity this year as well!!
I have gain massive amounts of state/local history and improved using local archives to teach
I've been taught how to use DBQs in all levels of classrooms
Finally, I have recently been accepted to take a 10 day trip to Boston and a week of class at George Mason University in June and July! This last course will help me complete my Masters and have 4 extra credits. I am so excited!
And I am so happy that SOMETIMES our government gets things right with education. For now, i'll stay positive and keep that in mind every time my school frustrates me.
BUT, the government has done one thing great for education: the Teaching American History Grant. Amazing! This grant was created to ensure history educators had extra history/pedagogy classes. This way teachers were constantly on top of current pedagogy and could be constant lifelong learners WITHOUT spending an arm and a leg on tuitions.
Here is how I have been blessed with the Teaching American History grant:
I will have completed my last 8 masters credits with TAH grant classes
Last spring, I had the opportunity to present at the National Council for History Educators conference... and I have the same opportunity this year as well!!
I have gain massive amounts of state/local history and improved using local archives to teach
I've been taught how to use DBQs in all levels of classrooms
Finally, I have recently been accepted to take a 10 day trip to Boston and a week of class at George Mason University in June and July! This last course will help me complete my Masters and have 4 extra credits. I am so excited!
And I am so happy that SOMETIMES our government gets things right with education. For now, i'll stay positive and keep that in mind every time my school frustrates me.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
The History of Thanksgiving...
We've all heard the story. Some of us have even been blessed enough to perform in a Thanksgiving Day skit in Elementary school. Let's refresh:
The year is 1621 and the Plymouth colonists and the Wampanoag Indians share feast together. For years afterwards, people continued having these feasts until President Lincoln, during the Civil War, declared Thanksgiving a national holiday.
This holiday has been always been a holiday where people come together. A holiday to unite despite differences. The Natives and the Colonists had a tumultuous relationship, always changing. And yet they had a grand feast together and sat down as equals. During the Civil War, America was at war with itself. Brother was fighting against brother. People didn't realize what they were fighting for... they just wanted their sons to come home. During the treacherous time, President Lincoln was determined to unite the country. Part of his solution... make Thanksgiving a national holiday. Today, people gather across the country (even the world) to celebrate the things and people they are thankful for. They gather with friends and family... those that are important to them. There's a ton of food, 3 football games, and laughs (usually).
To me, here's the irony. How much progress has actually been made in these almost 400 years? Has the country united or are we still separated by our differences? Do we appreciate and respect all the people that are different from us, or do we stand by, judging, determining what is right and what is wrong? Do we sit down at a table with those that are different and see them as equals, or do we only sit down with those that are close to us... those that we already love. I am NOT saying that we are improperly celebrating our holiday. On the contrary. I strongly believe that we should celebrate all our holidays with the people who are most important to us. Instead, I'm suggesting that we branch out as a nation and truly work to unite ourselves. Find your opposite and learn to love them. Maybe someday people won't talk about race, because it won't be a big deal. Maybe someday people won't talk about any of our differences, because we will all be accepted for who we are, what we wear, what we believe, etc. We will be seen as humans... as Americans. Nothings else. I believe that we all have good in them... no matter what... and we all need to take the time to see that good. Then maybe that first Thanksgiving will be demonstrated throughout America everyday, not just on one Thursday in November.
"For, in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal." - President John F. Kennedy
"I know in my heart that man is good. That what is right will always eventually triumph. And there's purpose and worth to each and every life." - President Ronald Reagan
"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. " - President Abraham Lincoln
The year is 1621 and the Plymouth colonists and the Wampanoag Indians share feast together. For years afterwards, people continued having these feasts until President Lincoln, during the Civil War, declared Thanksgiving a national holiday.
This holiday has been always been a holiday where people come together. A holiday to unite despite differences. The Natives and the Colonists had a tumultuous relationship, always changing. And yet they had a grand feast together and sat down as equals. During the Civil War, America was at war with itself. Brother was fighting against brother. People didn't realize what they were fighting for... they just wanted their sons to come home. During the treacherous time, President Lincoln was determined to unite the country. Part of his solution... make Thanksgiving a national holiday. Today, people gather across the country (even the world) to celebrate the things and people they are thankful for. They gather with friends and family... those that are important to them. There's a ton of food, 3 football games, and laughs (usually).
To me, here's the irony. How much progress has actually been made in these almost 400 years? Has the country united or are we still separated by our differences? Do we appreciate and respect all the people that are different from us, or do we stand by, judging, determining what is right and what is wrong? Do we sit down at a table with those that are different and see them as equals, or do we only sit down with those that are close to us... those that we already love. I am NOT saying that we are improperly celebrating our holiday. On the contrary. I strongly believe that we should celebrate all our holidays with the people who are most important to us. Instead, I'm suggesting that we branch out as a nation and truly work to unite ourselves. Find your opposite and learn to love them. Maybe someday people won't talk about race, because it won't be a big deal. Maybe someday people won't talk about any of our differences, because we will all be accepted for who we are, what we wear, what we believe, etc. We will be seen as humans... as Americans. Nothings else. I believe that we all have good in them... no matter what... and we all need to take the time to see that good. Then maybe that first Thanksgiving will be demonstrated throughout America everyday, not just on one Thursday in November.
"For, in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal." - President John F. Kennedy
"I know in my heart that man is good. That what is right will always eventually triumph. And there's purpose and worth to each and every life." - President Ronald Reagan
"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. " - President Abraham Lincoln
Thursday, November 25, 2010
A Day to be Thankful
And so it is... a day to be VERY thankful! Here are the things I'm thankful for in this year of 2010:
- I am married to a wonderful man for over a year. We have two crazy, silly dogs that make us smile and keep us entertained. My husband is caring and patient and reminds me how much he loves me everyday. We have a home, are financially stable, and are happy. :)
- I have a career that I love. Even though the job has some flaws and causes me a ridiculously large amount of stress, I love my students and I'm happy to be able to have a job right now.
- I have a phenomenal family. An amazing brother and sister-in-law who live only an hour north of us. Fantastic parents who constantly make me laugh and proud to be their daughter. My in-laws are amazing! We just had a wonderful 5-way Oovoo chat, making me so thankful they value family as much as I do. My family is also blessed to be adding one more addition... a new adopted baby boy will be joining my brother-in-law and sister-in-law.
- I am blessed with amazing friends! Ever since moving to this city, my friends have been as close as family. In fact, we're going to have Thanksgiving dinner with some friends today. Our friends are amazing, supportive, funny, and great people. We are blessed.
I am very happy to currently have a break and some relaxation. And I am thankful for another wonderful year.
".... believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it."
— Rainer Maria Rilke (Letters to a Young Poet)
— Rainer Maria Rilke (Letters to a Young Poet)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
A healthy past-time...
Growing up, I never played video games. We had an old school Nintendo, but that was my brother's and I was never allowed to play. It's okay, though... I didn't think I was really missing out on much. Now... things have changed. When I got married, my husband had a Wii and a PlayStation 3. I didn't think much about either until I played Batman Lego on the PS3. Yes, I know, a kids game. I had to start easy. Now, one of my favorite past-time games... Assassin's Creed. It's all based in historical fact, so nerdy me can meet Leonardo Da Vinci, the Templars, Niccolo Machiavelli, and others. I can was Venice as it's being constructed and Rome at it's height. The more I speck, the more nerdy I realize I am... but I'm okay with that.
Now, just to clarify, I am not someone who stays up at all hours in order to play video games, but sometimes my brain can't focus enough to read my book (currently reading "The Road") and sometimes I just can't find a good movie to watch. Although I've been watching Law and Order:SVU on netflix, I strongly encourage myself to take a break from that as well.
Anyway, husband and I recently bought Assassins Creed: Brotherhood. Since Husband is a MUCH better game player than me, I now just relax and watch the game like it's a movie. Every now and again I chime in with "It's the Colosseum" or "Oh Machiavelli".
This is an excellent way to enjoy the weekend without stress. :)
“There are no classes in life for beginners; right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult” -Rainer Maria Rilke
Now, just to clarify, I am not someone who stays up at all hours in order to play video games, but sometimes my brain can't focus enough to read my book (currently reading "The Road") and sometimes I just can't find a good movie to watch. Although I've been watching Law and Order:SVU on netflix, I strongly encourage myself to take a break from that as well.
Anyway, husband and I recently bought Assassins Creed: Brotherhood. Since Husband is a MUCH better game player than me, I now just relax and watch the game like it's a movie. Every now and again I chime in with "It's the Colosseum" or "Oh Machiavelli".
This is an excellent way to enjoy the weekend without stress. :)
“There are no classes in life for beginners; right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult” -Rainer Maria Rilke
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I hope to not lose hope...
Well... here's where I'm at right now.
I dread Monday morning meetings. I dread emails from my principal. I dread anytime he comes up to me in the hallway or walks into my classroom. Why? Because it's never going to turn out in my favor. Usually it means I'm not doing something right, or I have to add more work to what I already do, OR I have another template to fill out properly instructing me on how to spell my name. Fabulous.
About a week ago (on Veteran's Day) I took a personal day to spend time with my Veteran. It was an AMAZING day... we just hung out, ran some errands (we have to take a Best Buy timeout...) and lounged around the house together. It was so relaxing I didn't mind waking up and going to work the next day (although, I'll admit it was easier to know that it was Friday). That amazing time off feeling lasted until about Monday. The past few days have been a struggle again. As I was driving home from work yesterday, I really wanted to figure out what was making me so unhappy.
Was it the kids? No. I love my kids. They're a challenge, but full of heart and spirit. They are determined to succeed (usually) and they make me laugh. The kids would be my biggest reason to stay.
Was it teaching? No. I really love teaching. There's a lot of work involved, but I love seeing the kids figure things out and start to be remotely interested in history. I love talking to the kids a year later and have them tell me about something we did or learned the year before. Those things stick with them. I love helping the students realize that they have a ton of potential and can succeed in life, no matter what other people tell them. No... it definitely isn't the teaching.
So what's left? The hoops. I cannot stand the hoops and I can't function being forced to live within the box. I don't mind having to abide by the box every now and them, but to never be allowed to leave the box. I like to have the freedom to be creative. I sometimes have my most creative ideas about 10 minutes before my class, BUT the end of the world would occur if I changed my lesson and don't have it written down a week before hand. Thankfully, this year I have been very good about keeping work at work and enjoying home time with my husband and dogs. But I know I won't be able to keep trucking through this and always seeing the best sides. I can't keep dodging my principal.
I hope that I don't lose hope. I hope that I don't lose faith in what I've been working my whole life to become. It's been almost 20 years since I decided I was going to be a teacher, and I hope that I don't give up forever. Maybe just a new district...
On a happy note, some of my students told me on Monday that I am an inspiring person. That brought a smile to my face and lifted my heart. :)
"The great renewal of the world will perhaps consist in this, that man and maid, freed of all false feelings and reluctances, will seek each other not as opposites, but as brother and sister, as neighbors, and will come together as human beings." - Rainer Maria Rilke
I dread Monday morning meetings. I dread emails from my principal. I dread anytime he comes up to me in the hallway or walks into my classroom. Why? Because it's never going to turn out in my favor. Usually it means I'm not doing something right, or I have to add more work to what I already do, OR I have another template to fill out properly instructing me on how to spell my name. Fabulous.
About a week ago (on Veteran's Day) I took a personal day to spend time with my Veteran. It was an AMAZING day... we just hung out, ran some errands (we have to take a Best Buy timeout...) and lounged around the house together. It was so relaxing I didn't mind waking up and going to work the next day (although, I'll admit it was easier to know that it was Friday). That amazing time off feeling lasted until about Monday. The past few days have been a struggle again. As I was driving home from work yesterday, I really wanted to figure out what was making me so unhappy.
Was it the kids? No. I love my kids. They're a challenge, but full of heart and spirit. They are determined to succeed (usually) and they make me laugh. The kids would be my biggest reason to stay.
Was it teaching? No. I really love teaching. There's a lot of work involved, but I love seeing the kids figure things out and start to be remotely interested in history. I love talking to the kids a year later and have them tell me about something we did or learned the year before. Those things stick with them. I love helping the students realize that they have a ton of potential and can succeed in life, no matter what other people tell them. No... it definitely isn't the teaching.
So what's left? The hoops. I cannot stand the hoops and I can't function being forced to live within the box. I don't mind having to abide by the box every now and them, but to never be allowed to leave the box. I like to have the freedom to be creative. I sometimes have my most creative ideas about 10 minutes before my class, BUT the end of the world would occur if I changed my lesson and don't have it written down a week before hand. Thankfully, this year I have been very good about keeping work at work and enjoying home time with my husband and dogs. But I know I won't be able to keep trucking through this and always seeing the best sides. I can't keep dodging my principal.
I hope that I don't lose hope. I hope that I don't lose faith in what I've been working my whole life to become. It's been almost 20 years since I decided I was going to be a teacher, and I hope that I don't give up forever. Maybe just a new district...
On a happy note, some of my students told me on Monday that I am an inspiring person. That brought a smile to my face and lifted my heart. :)
"The great renewal of the world will perhaps consist in this, that man and maid, freed of all false feelings and reluctances, will seek each other not as opposites, but as brother and sister, as neighbors, and will come together as human beings." - Rainer Maria Rilke
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Today's Quote
“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke
-Rainer Maria Rilke
Saturday, November 13, 2010
I could never work in a corporate business... and it's all my mom's fault
It was the week of career day, and somehow, for the past 2 years, I've been "co-chair" for this event. Last year, my partner and I got 10 people to attend career day, and things went pretty smoothly. We were efficient and everything went pretty well.
This year, however, it was not so. We added a third helper. Another councilor we'll call Charlie. Charlie is a great councilor. He has the kids trust, they'll talk to him about everything, and he can fix tons of their issues. BUT, as an organized man, he is NOT! Charlie has a ton of contacts for events like career day. After all, he's a retention specialist (works towards keeping kids in school and helping them find career/college contacts). So, let me tell you why I could never work in the corporate business world...
I was in charge of scheduling the kids to see different careers and match them with ones that they would enjoy. I spent HOURS working on these schedules. My school has about 150 students and each had to have 5 different courses. The day of Career Day I was awake at 3am to finish the schedules. We had 16 different possible careers. I had personally arranged 4 of them... and was stalking those 4 to make sure they were there on time, prepared, and still able to make it. The rest were arranged by Charlie. I was constantly confirming with Charlie to verify what he heard from those people.
So there I'm sitting on the morning of Career Day. Cup #4 of coffee halfway done. I was finishing up the last of the schedules while my other parter was creating the classroom attendance sheets. Charlie was popped his head in and told us he was going to post signs saying which job is in which room. About 5 minutes later, he pokes his head in and asks, "Who did we get for the parole officer?" My response... stare baffling at Charlie and then say, "Are you joking?" "No"... laughing. Then it dawned on me... Charlie didn't confirm the parole officer. Either that or I screwed up big time. So I check my records of our meetings... because, yes, I took notes while we were meeting. It definitely had a name next to the P. O. So, now I start to panic. I had a feeling our tattoo artist/business owner was going to cancel (they tend to be VERY flaky), and now we had no P. O. Crap. My heart starts to race a little more and I begin to worry. How much more work do I have to do? How am I going to reschedule these kids?
Little did I know, this was ONLY the beginning. The Lawyer/Judge had to go to trial and didn't show up. The cosmetologist didn't show up. The fireman didn't show. And the tattoo artist didn't show up, as I predicted. That's 5 people who failed us (none of which were the people I set up, by the way). My partner and I spent the day rearranging students, and thanks to one of our fellow co-workers, we got an FBI guy in to fill a space. Thankfully Career Day only lasted from 9 - 12, because I couldn't have survived any longer than that.
Here's the thing... in the corporate world people have to micromanage and plan and organize, and I cannot function properly if one of my team members drops the ball. It took about 7 cups of coffee to make it to noon, and even more to make it until 4 (the end of the school day).
There's still one more part I haven't addressed. How is this Mum's fault? My mum worries like it's going out of style. Everything causes her to worry. Growing up, I thought it was crazy how worried she would get about everything! Little did I know I would turn out just like her. I can't function without worrying about everything. And therefore, no corporate business career for me... I suppose that's okay, because I really do love teaching. BUT, there are reasons why I am not a micromanaging teaching. I'm a go-with-the-flow, roll-with-the-punches, list-making-planner, outside-the-box teacher. And anytime people attempt to put me in a box, I have a breakdown and panic... and then I revolt.
Quote for the day:
“...perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke
(My new favorite poet...)
This year, however, it was not so. We added a third helper. Another councilor we'll call Charlie. Charlie is a great councilor. He has the kids trust, they'll talk to him about everything, and he can fix tons of their issues. BUT, as an organized man, he is NOT! Charlie has a ton of contacts for events like career day. After all, he's a retention specialist (works towards keeping kids in school and helping them find career/college contacts). So, let me tell you why I could never work in the corporate business world...
I was in charge of scheduling the kids to see different careers and match them with ones that they would enjoy. I spent HOURS working on these schedules. My school has about 150 students and each had to have 5 different courses. The day of Career Day I was awake at 3am to finish the schedules. We had 16 different possible careers. I had personally arranged 4 of them... and was stalking those 4 to make sure they were there on time, prepared, and still able to make it. The rest were arranged by Charlie. I was constantly confirming with Charlie to verify what he heard from those people.
So there I'm sitting on the morning of Career Day. Cup #4 of coffee halfway done. I was finishing up the last of the schedules while my other parter was creating the classroom attendance sheets. Charlie was popped his head in and told us he was going to post signs saying which job is in which room. About 5 minutes later, he pokes his head in and asks, "Who did we get for the parole officer?" My response... stare baffling at Charlie and then say, "Are you joking?" "No"... laughing. Then it dawned on me... Charlie didn't confirm the parole officer. Either that or I screwed up big time. So I check my records of our meetings... because, yes, I took notes while we were meeting. It definitely had a name next to the P. O. So, now I start to panic. I had a feeling our tattoo artist/business owner was going to cancel (they tend to be VERY flaky), and now we had no P. O. Crap. My heart starts to race a little more and I begin to worry. How much more work do I have to do? How am I going to reschedule these kids?
Little did I know, this was ONLY the beginning. The Lawyer/Judge had to go to trial and didn't show up. The cosmetologist didn't show up. The fireman didn't show. And the tattoo artist didn't show up, as I predicted. That's 5 people who failed us (none of which were the people I set up, by the way). My partner and I spent the day rearranging students, and thanks to one of our fellow co-workers, we got an FBI guy in to fill a space. Thankfully Career Day only lasted from 9 - 12, because I couldn't have survived any longer than that.
Here's the thing... in the corporate world people have to micromanage and plan and organize, and I cannot function properly if one of my team members drops the ball. It took about 7 cups of coffee to make it to noon, and even more to make it until 4 (the end of the school day).
There's still one more part I haven't addressed. How is this Mum's fault? My mum worries like it's going out of style. Everything causes her to worry. Growing up, I thought it was crazy how worried she would get about everything! Little did I know I would turn out just like her. I can't function without worrying about everything. And therefore, no corporate business career for me... I suppose that's okay, because I really do love teaching. BUT, there are reasons why I am not a micromanaging teaching. I'm a go-with-the-flow, roll-with-the-punches, list-making-planner, outside-the-box teacher. And anytime people attempt to put me in a box, I have a breakdown and panic... and then I revolt.
Quote for the day:
“...perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke
(My new favorite poet...)
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Another drop in the bucket...
Ah... finals! Do you know what I do all day when the kids are taking their finals? Nothing... at least I'm not SUPPOSE to do anything. In reality, I try to get my grades in order, since they're due on Monday. I try to plan some lessons for the new trimester. And I read emails. Since teachers aren't allowed to leave their rooms while testing is occurring, we can't socialize with each other. So we email. The thought of it makes me chuckle a little bit. I was actually emailing my friend, who was just across the hall. Of course or emails were brainless, but that's the best part. We got to be brainless at work for a little while. :)
While we were testing, however, my principal sent out an email detailing how we were going to have to have our unit plans turned in on Friday and from now on they're always due a week before we teach them. Not a bad thing, until you realize that before the end of the day on Friday we have to have our grades done. My district tests I give have to be graded in front of administration... I'm forbidden from having them unsupervised... which means I can't take them home to grade. And let me tell you... reading student's paragraphs and determining their grades takes longer than it sounds. I'm guessing our principal has no concept of how full our bucket really is. He's not realizing that one drop will cause us to overflow... and that drop is coming soon.
I was talking to my friend about it today at work, and my principal's micromanaging has reminded me of something. Let me tell you a brief story. When I was doing my first student-teaching, I had this amazing cooperating teacher, Bob. He was phenomenal. Anyway, I taught a lesson that was really good on paper, but the execution was faulty. I did some on the spot changing, but nonetheless, it was a flop. I talked to my teacher about it later, and was crushed because I'd never had a lesson fail before. He told me something I'd never forget. Bob told me that every teacher has lessons that fail, and not just when they're new teachers. The key to great teachers is that they recognize that they failed that day, and they know WHAT failed about the lesson. They don't always know why the students don't understand a part, but they know what part the students don't get. So let me tie this back to the present. My great concern right now is that my principal is doing all of this micromanaging and changing things all over the place and isn't realizing that it is failing. Every time someone talks to him about it, he doesn't think those feelings apply to the whole school, or he just thinks that people feel like this because his ideas are new. I'm concerned that he won't realize things are failing, will continue on this path, and will make life at school miserable. He'll force teachers to just spend their days trying to figure out how to jump through specific hoops and not coming up with creative ideas on how to teach our kiddos.
For now, point me in the direction of my hoop and hope I don't get burned as I jump through...
Some closing thoughts for today:
"I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended on to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts."
-President Abraham Lincoln
"In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on."
-Robert Frost
"The strength of the United States is not the gold at Fort Knox or the weapons of mass destruction that we have, but the sum total of the education and the character of our people."
-Claiborne Pell
While we were testing, however, my principal sent out an email detailing how we were going to have to have our unit plans turned in on Friday and from now on they're always due a week before we teach them. Not a bad thing, until you realize that before the end of the day on Friday we have to have our grades done. My district tests I give have to be graded in front of administration... I'm forbidden from having them unsupervised... which means I can't take them home to grade. And let me tell you... reading student's paragraphs and determining their grades takes longer than it sounds. I'm guessing our principal has no concept of how full our bucket really is. He's not realizing that one drop will cause us to overflow... and that drop is coming soon.
I was talking to my friend about it today at work, and my principal's micromanaging has reminded me of something. Let me tell you a brief story. When I was doing my first student-teaching, I had this amazing cooperating teacher, Bob. He was phenomenal. Anyway, I taught a lesson that was really good on paper, but the execution was faulty. I did some on the spot changing, but nonetheless, it was a flop. I talked to my teacher about it later, and was crushed because I'd never had a lesson fail before. He told me something I'd never forget. Bob told me that every teacher has lessons that fail, and not just when they're new teachers. The key to great teachers is that they recognize that they failed that day, and they know WHAT failed about the lesson. They don't always know why the students don't understand a part, but they know what part the students don't get. So let me tie this back to the present. My great concern right now is that my principal is doing all of this micromanaging and changing things all over the place and isn't realizing that it is failing. Every time someone talks to him about it, he doesn't think those feelings apply to the whole school, or he just thinks that people feel like this because his ideas are new. I'm concerned that he won't realize things are failing, will continue on this path, and will make life at school miserable. He'll force teachers to just spend their days trying to figure out how to jump through specific hoops and not coming up with creative ideas on how to teach our kiddos.
For now, point me in the direction of my hoop and hope I don't get burned as I jump through...
Some closing thoughts for today:
"I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended on to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts."
-President Abraham Lincoln
"In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on."
-Robert Frost
"The strength of the United States is not the gold at Fort Knox or the weapons of mass destruction that we have, but the sum total of the education and the character of our people."
-Claiborne Pell
Monday, November 1, 2010
A Day of Peace...
I know this is horrible to say, but it's true. Today was a day of peace. Usually on Mondays we have a meeting from 8 - 10. I know... you might as well just say we have a death sentence every Monday. With the exception from today and one other day, our monday meetings are the most painful, excruciating things. Let me be honest... I've never had an enema, but I'm pretty sure it's more pleasant than our monday meetings.
BUT, today was different. My principal called in sick today, so our dean of student, Mrs. Chaz, and our Assistant Principal, Mrs. Wendski, had to lead our meeting. FANTASTIC! The meeting was short and sweet... RIGHT to the point! Amazing! Any time someone attempted to keep the meeting going longer than necessary, they cut them short.... said to talk to them individually so the rest of us could go free. It was beautiful! And then... to actually have time to prepare for the day before kids came was fantastic!
I know... It's not nice to say that today was a great day because my boss was out sick with the flu. I'm sorry he has the flu, but it was a great day without Big Brother watching over my shoulder.
Only a few more days until Big Brother begins to collect my unit plans that I have to write using a VERY specific template (because we all know that everyone thinks and works exactly alike), so I will relish my day of peace. Who knows when another one will come around...
BUT, today was different. My principal called in sick today, so our dean of student, Mrs. Chaz, and our Assistant Principal, Mrs. Wendski, had to lead our meeting. FANTASTIC! The meeting was short and sweet... RIGHT to the point! Amazing! Any time someone attempted to keep the meeting going longer than necessary, they cut them short.... said to talk to them individually so the rest of us could go free. It was beautiful! And then... to actually have time to prepare for the day before kids came was fantastic!
I know... It's not nice to say that today was a great day because my boss was out sick with the flu. I'm sorry he has the flu, but it was a great day without Big Brother watching over my shoulder.
Only a few more days until Big Brother begins to collect my unit plans that I have to write using a VERY specific template (because we all know that everyone thinks and works exactly alike), so I will relish my day of peace. Who knows when another one will come around...
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Fun Times as the Trimester Winds Down... With Stress Mixed In...
Well, the first trimester is winding down, which is bittersweet. I have to admit that I'm happy the school year is starting to fly by. It's not that I don't love teaching, but this school year is already SO stressful!! Before I tell about the stressful stuff, let me tell you about some fun things.
Last week my government classes did mock trials. SO MUCH FUN!! They were absolutely amazing. The kids dressed up as lawyers, a judge, witnesses, etc. We had a blast, and they did such a phenomenal time analyzing and synthesizing all their case information. They had great opening and closing statements and played excellent plaintiffs and defendants. What a blast! Now, we're working on classroom timelines. The students are making timelines of the American Government for all three branches. How great and such fun!!
Now a few stressful things:
Big Brother is still hanging over our heads. The new policy? We need to do lesson plans using the same templates and and turn them in for points. Micro-managing to the fullest.
District tests are coming back again, which means I will be nice and stressed making sure I do everything correctly and worrying that I haven't taught my students everything they need for the tests.
School has been so bad one of our teachers almost fainted today. She is already in a weakened state, as she has brain cancer, but the fact that things are so stressed her blood pressure plummeted in the middle of the day is not okay. That means something is wrong. Very wrong.
Here's the problem... our district is taking the art out of teaching. It's attempting to turn us into robotic machines. We do what we do because we are creative and we love finding fun ways to teach students. I work at an alternative school so I don't have to always be told the "right" way to do things. I want to be able to try new and fun things and not always be told I have to do things according to a formula.
Yet to come... Parent-Teacher Conferences this Thursday and Friday...
Last week my government classes did mock trials. SO MUCH FUN!! They were absolutely amazing. The kids dressed up as lawyers, a judge, witnesses, etc. We had a blast, and they did such a phenomenal time analyzing and synthesizing all their case information. They had great opening and closing statements and played excellent plaintiffs and defendants. What a blast! Now, we're working on classroom timelines. The students are making timelines of the American Government for all three branches. How great and such fun!!
Now a few stressful things:
Big Brother is still hanging over our heads. The new policy? We need to do lesson plans using the same templates and and turn them in for points. Micro-managing to the fullest.
District tests are coming back again, which means I will be nice and stressed making sure I do everything correctly and worrying that I haven't taught my students everything they need for the tests.
School has been so bad one of our teachers almost fainted today. She is already in a weakened state, as she has brain cancer, but the fact that things are so stressed her blood pressure plummeted in the middle of the day is not okay. That means something is wrong. Very wrong.
Here's the problem... our district is taking the art out of teaching. It's attempting to turn us into robotic machines. We do what we do because we are creative and we love finding fun ways to teach students. I work at an alternative school so I don't have to always be told the "right" way to do things. I want to be able to try new and fun things and not always be told I have to do things according to a formula.
Yet to come... Parent-Teacher Conferences this Thursday and Friday...
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Classroom discussion
My government class and I had a great time today discussing the current Supreme Court oral arguments for the Snyder v. Phelps case. It's amazing how passionate and concerned my students get. We're alternative, and a lot of people wrongfully assume that my students are selfish and violent and delinquents. To be honest, they often are more expressive and emotional than most people. The problem is that they often can't filter their emotions. They were SO passionate about how immoral it is to allow people to protest at funerals, but still concerned to have our Freedom of Speech limited.
So here's the question...
How do you protect mourners at a funeral (any funeral) without over-limiting speech? Sadly, this is not a moral question. Although I strongly believe that it is WRONG to protest at funerals, America has been built on our civil liberties. Our forefathers STRONGLY believed that we have the right to say whatever we want... no matter if others like it or not. It brings up and old, yet famous, quote from Voltaire that I will close with...
"I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
So here's the question...
How do you protect mourners at a funeral (any funeral) without over-limiting speech? Sadly, this is not a moral question. Although I strongly believe that it is WRONG to protest at funerals, America has been built on our civil liberties. Our forefathers STRONGLY believed that we have the right to say whatever we want... no matter if others like it or not. It brings up and old, yet famous, quote from Voltaire that I will close with...
"I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
7 weeks in and a curriculum change???
So here's the tale of the day. It's seven weeks into our school year. By this point, as teachers, we've planned out our lessons/units. So what happens last night? Our math teachers are called to a mandatory meeting in which the superintendent drops the bomb that the math curriculum has COMPLETELY changed. There was 1 thing from the old curriculum map that was still the same... the rest was different. As for the next unit, there were 2 things the same.
Some classic comments our superintendent said:
When asked when the curriculum was to be implemented and when teachers were suppose to plan for all these changes, he responded with saying, "Tomorrow. If it was me, I'd go home and write up 3 lessons for the rest of the week and then spend the weekend planning for the next few weeks. Now, I know that many of you don't like to work on the weekend and have lives outside of school..." SERIOUSLY?! Is he implying that all his teachers are lazy?! We work each night and each weekend, but that's not good enough for him.
Another comment was that he could "come in tomorrow and teach all your classes" because teaching is just that easy.
He is SOOOOOOO frustrating. I don't think he could answer a question with a straight answer to save his life. Such a politician!!!!! He should just get out of education before he ruins our school district anymore. If he pushes any more PHENOMENAL teachers away from out district, our poor students will suffer the consequences. This is very upsetting. I wish I could find a way to protest...
Some classic comments our superintendent said:
When asked when the curriculum was to be implemented and when teachers were suppose to plan for all these changes, he responded with saying, "Tomorrow. If it was me, I'd go home and write up 3 lessons for the rest of the week and then spend the weekend planning for the next few weeks. Now, I know that many of you don't like to work on the weekend and have lives outside of school..." SERIOUSLY?! Is he implying that all his teachers are lazy?! We work each night and each weekend, but that's not good enough for him.
Another comment was that he could "come in tomorrow and teach all your classes" because teaching is just that easy.
He is SOOOOOOO frustrating. I don't think he could answer a question with a straight answer to save his life. Such a politician!!!!! He should just get out of education before he ruins our school district anymore. If he pushes any more PHENOMENAL teachers away from out district, our poor students will suffer the consequences. This is very upsetting. I wish I could find a way to protest...
Sunday, September 19, 2010
A Week without a Principal
I know it's sad to have enjoyed this past week, but I can't lie... knowing there wasn't going to be an administrator popping into my room to judge whether or not I'm doing a good job was AMAZING!! I felt so relaxed and really felt like I was enjoying teaching again! Sad... but true.
Upon return this week, my principal was moody and grumpy... NOT what we needed to have in school... ESPECIALLY since there's more district testing coming up this week.
Here's my thought on this whole thing: I cannot do anything about a lot of things in the educational system. What I CAN do is make sure I'm teaching to the best of my ability; work with the kids and ensure they are learning what is important regardless of what will be tested this week. I can go to work and smile and laugh and have fun with my students while they learn. Looking back on this week, I really did have some amazing things happen. One student told me I was really smart. :) A few others told me I was a good teacher and they never learned any of these things about Government from their other schoolteachers. I was so happy and proud. I am so glad to be able to help these students and actually TEACH them something. As a teacher, you always wonder whether or not the students are learning anything, whether or not they'll remember what you've talked about it class. It's reassuring to know that some do.
So I'm preparing for another week, with two days of testing, and all I can do is go into the week with high hopes and confidence that my students will do well and we'll have fun beginning to learn about the Judicial Branch and North Africa, Southwest Asia, and Central Asia. :)
Good stuff!!! :)
Quote for the end of one week and the beginning of another:
"Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." -Shawshank Redemption
Saturday, September 11, 2010
A Day to Remember
And because this is a day of remembrance, it should not be filled with heavy words. I will simply remind people of two quotes from President Ronald Reagan that still ring true today:
"Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today's world do not have."
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same."
Thank you to all our brave Americans: military, fireman, police officers, civilians... everyone.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Exciting part about teaching... OPPORTUNITIES!!
8 hours of teaching plus grading at home and lesson planning, 5 days a week, 180 days a year. Summertime’s dedicated to professional development and taking classes to earn credits in order to renew your license and stay on top of all the changes being made in the educational field.
In my opinion, this is the typical life of a teacher. Well, as with all jobs, there are perks. For teachers, days off of work, watching students graduate, and sometimes some REALLY great educational grants that fall into your lap.
Let me tell you a brief tale: Two years ago, my first full year teaching in my school, I was introduced to a man who represented the Teaching American History grant that my school district was involved in. Being that I am the only Social Studies teacher in my building, no one had mentioned this program to me. I totally thought it was a hoax. I mean, here’s this guy telling me that if I attend a week class in the summer about using primary sources from local achieves in my classroom, plus created a few assignments on my own, I would be paid a $1000 stipend and earn 2 graduate credits for $125! THEN, I could also attend a school year class, once a month, dealing with a specific topic, earn 3 credits AND get paid $600! I thought this guy was crazy!! (I should mention, up to this point, I’ve never worked with a grant before, so I didn’t totally accept that the government just gives you money to learn). Well, the “crazy” man mentioned a teacher at a local high school that had attended the class last summer, so I realized that maybe this was a legitimate thing. So, I sign up. One of my greatest ideas EVER!!
At the end of the summer class, we were assigned to go to our local achieves, find 5 primary sources and write questions to be able to be used in a classroom. The 5 people who have most of their assignments published in our book (yes… we created a book) would win a free trip to the annual NCHE (National Council for History Education) conference. Well, last year, I won! And I had the unique opportunity to present at the conference with the other people who won!
Of course I took the fall class as well and then the summer class again. (By the way, this grant has brought me 3 credits away from my Masters in Education!!) Well… I must be very blessed, because I won the contest AGAIN! I get to go to Charleston, South Carolina for this years NCHE conference and we’re talking about submitting a proposal to speak again!!! Two years in a row I will be published and rub elbows with some of the greats in my field!! It’s amazing!!! I am ridiculously excited and so happy that I have chosen this profession… even with all the stress and drama that has been occurring. A shining light has reminded me why I love teaching… again.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
The Week After...
It’s been a full week since all of the district drama, and I must say that I have been clearly reminded of why I love teaching. My students have been working extremely hard in class, and are still as goofy as ever. The other day, my co-worker, Charisma, was teaching the Kite Runner in literacy class. She was discussing Islam and realized that a bunch of students already had a good base knowledge on the Islamic religion… and NOT just racist comments about wearing turbans and being members of the Taliban. Later that night, I was talking to Charisma about the fantastic chair meeting I just went to (not sarcasm) and she asked me if I teach about Islam in World History. Well, I do. In fact that’s my first unit every year… the Rise of Islam. She continued on about everything her students remembered from my class and I was so proud. I couldn’t believe how much information my students remembered from the year before!! I was so happy… It was a clear demonstration to me that there are some students that do remember the things they learn, who want to be in class, and that makes the biggest difference in the world to a teacher who has been tried by the strains of teaching.
I still haven’t decided what to do next year… whether I’ll return to my school or not. I know that I can’t go back to a school just to have a job. That won’t be beneficial to either me or the students. BUT I still want to be a teacher, and finding a social studies job is not always the easiest thing. I guess I’ll just have to make it through the year and see how I feel...
Saturday, August 28, 2010
The rest of the week...
As all weeks do, this week has definitely had its ups and downs. And, to clarify, this week's downs have been REALLY far down. This week's ups have been small ups, but ups none the less...
I already mention the disaster that happened with the test, and I woke up fresh on the Thursday determined to make it a great day. I even went to Starbucks and got a grande skinny vanilla latte and a sausage sandwich. To me, that said "Amazing start to a wonderful day". Well... that's not exactly how the rest of the day worked out. I had to still give 3 district assessments and immediately after our morning meeting, I and my co-worker found out we had to have an administrator in our classroom as we proctored the tests. In addition, we had to write a letter explaining what we did and why we did it. Well, that was frustrating, but I figured it was just red tape. To be honest, I had absolutely no idea how someone could believe I was cheating to improve my kids' test scores (which, in my district means improving my pay). I don't mean to sound snobby, but I don't care about the money. I don't teach for the money. And I think these tests are ridiculous and don't even want to force my kids to take the tests.
Well, I went about my day, only to be confronted by my principal before my 3rd hour class. No where in our discussion did he make any comment about understanding any of my actions, just continued to tell me what I did wrong and what I should have done. I don't consider myself a stupid person, so I was getting frustrated with this repeated conversation. I shut down and became completely unreceptive to my principal. The thing is, I usually have a great relationship with my principal, and I KNOW he always goes out of his way to protect us, but that was not what it felt like this time.
My principal decided to have my co-worker, Lily, talk to me, since we were in the same boat with this. So, we chatted, and she told me I needed to "clarify" my letter I wrote... apparently my letter sounded like I was justifying my actions, and justification, to administration, means I cheated.
The day went on, and I finally got to a point when I wasn't emotional at all... I was all business. I began looking for new social studies teaching jobs, and ironically I found a part time job in another district. The catch... the job was closing the day before so I had little time to apply. I spent part of one class (while my kids were working on their independent study class) revising my resume. Then I had to figure out how to ask my principal and vice principal to write me a letter of recommendation without being rude.
Although it was still splotchy, Charisma had attempted to make me feel better by telling me I looked pretty... which made me crack up laughing!!
Friday came about, and to start off the day, I went back to Starbucks. THIS TIME, it was going to work! I bought co-workers coffee, and myself coffee AND an apple fritter. Sugar beats all! :) It worked. Friday turned out to be a great day we all survived. Some students had found out that Lily and I were almost fired and they came to us with comforts of "Miss, if that'd happen, I'd protest! I wouldn't come to school anymore." Granted, we don't want our students to stop coming to school no matter what, but it was a sweet thought and makes me love my kids even more.
Thankfully it's the weekend, and I get to relax with friends and an amazing husband! (And go to see if my car, Sophia, is truly dying... the day may come when she has to get sold...)
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Title unsure...
I suppose it's time for an update... and quite the day for that...
It's the third week of school, and here's what I have to say:
1. I have PHENOMENAL kids this year. I have NO idea what happened over the summer, but this is definitely a HUGE change! I've never noticed these big changes before, but I love that I have kids that, at least for now, want to be successful in school. It makes my heart float.
2. I am in FULL anticipation of stresses to come from district assessments determining my paycheck and district administration arriving in my classroom sporadically throughout the school year for whatever reason they determine...
And 3. Today was the first day I had to give my students a district assessment, and it was AWFUL!!! Let me give some brief (or hopefully brief) background...
The school district I work for decided to start a "pay-for-performance" plan, meaning teachers will be paid based on how successful their students are... which is determined by district and state tests!! I teach World History, American History, Government, and Geography, which are NOT state tested subjects. So, most of my pay is based on the district tests. Now, OBVIOUSLY I did not get into teaching for the money. That's never been a true teacher's goal. It's very frustrating to even link teaching with determining my pay... so weird!! I really just want to teach! I LOVE to talk to students and discuss and watch their faces when they figure something out! That is why I love teaching!
Okay... back to being brief... these district tests are created by teachers and retired teachers. Then the creators have to write up an "item map", which basically is a sentence about what each question is regarding. So, for example, if I was going to write a question about limiting the power of our government's branches, I may write a comment that says "checks and balances in American Government". Anyway, the students are given 3 assessment sets, which are suppose to be short answer responses and about 4 - 5 questions. Then they will take one bigger, multiple choice test at the end of the course that is suppose to determine whether or not the kids learned anything. (I'll try to be more objective from this point on... yeah right...)
So... if I attempt to explain more, it will get WAY to unnecessarily complicated... I gave my first assessment set today. Oh wait... one more back story...
Yesterday, my principal stopped in for a spot observation (15 minute observation to help me become a better teacher) in my last period class. I thought we had a great lesson... kids were engaged, discussing, and attempting to come up with a compromise between the northern and southern states. After school, he spent OVER AN HOUR talking to me about my lesson and teaching habits. Here's a tip. You know the conversation is not going to go well when it begins with your principal says "OK... we need to be done with potential." Thus starts an hour of biting the inside of your mouth so you don't have an emotional breakdown... and might I add, it doesn't help if you spouse is out of town when all this goes down...
So, as I was saying, the assessment set. For legal reasons (aka I could lose my job) I can't tell you exactly the questions on the test, BUT, I can tell you this. In geography, the students had to interpret a map, BUT in order to interpret, students needed to be able to tell the difference between the colors on the map. Not a problem, UNLESS YOUR TEST IS IN BLACK AND WHITE!! It is VERY hard to determine the difference between yellow, orange, and white when there is only black and white. In addition, how fair is it to be testing kids on interpreting a geography map but ask them questions about historical events in American history THAT THEY MAY NOT HAVE LEARNED YET? Especially NOT in geography class! So what happens, you ask? I allow the students to use a map of the United States that gives the state names (because, yes, my kids don't know the 50 states) and I have the audacity to tell the kids what the questioners meant when they asked them to find "trends" in a bar graph. The result is my principal (whom I normally have a great relationship with) giving me a HUGE lecture on how all of that was wrong.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you REALLY feel like crying, and you're doing whatever it takes to NOT cry (including biting the inside of your lips and staring at ANYTHING except people, because one look from a person will make you cry)? Well, that was me today at the end of lunch, before my 4th hour class while my principal was telling me all the things I did wrong and me be frustrated because these tests should NOT be held against the students. (Did I mention our principal is making these 4 tests count as 50% of our students grades?!?!) And the result? My principal would NOT stop talking to me, and I started to cry.
Yup... middle of the school day I ACTUALLY have a bit of a breakdown. I'm not talking sobbing, just tears running down my face and I can't make them stop, no matter how hard I try. And what happens next? My principal keeps talking to me... while I'm crying! Then he goes in to cover the first few minutes of my class so I can regroup.
I don't know if any of you have ever seen me after crying, but I become ridiculously splotchy. Even without tears, the feeling of being about to cry makes my face become splotchy. NOT easy to cover up in 5 minutes and be a responsible teacher for the rest of the day. It completely sapped me of all desire to work for the rest of the day... which actually infuriated me, because I LOVE TEACHING!!! I haven't had a day like this since I started teaching, so I suppose I'm due. To be honest, though, I'd much rather be breaking up fights than having emotional breakdowns at school...
All I keep thinking is that tomorrow is a new day... more easily said than done...
So, I resort to doing nothing for the rest of this evening and thinking about my man Ralph Waldo Emerson, who said:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
Off to bed I go, in hopes of following Emerson's wise, sage advice.
It's the third week of school, and here's what I have to say:
1. I have PHENOMENAL kids this year. I have NO idea what happened over the summer, but this is definitely a HUGE change! I've never noticed these big changes before, but I love that I have kids that, at least for now, want to be successful in school. It makes my heart float.
2. I am in FULL anticipation of stresses to come from district assessments determining my paycheck and district administration arriving in my classroom sporadically throughout the school year for whatever reason they determine...
And 3. Today was the first day I had to give my students a district assessment, and it was AWFUL!!! Let me give some brief (or hopefully brief) background...
The school district I work for decided to start a "pay-for-performance" plan, meaning teachers will be paid based on how successful their students are... which is determined by district and state tests!! I teach World History, American History, Government, and Geography, which are NOT state tested subjects. So, most of my pay is based on the district tests. Now, OBVIOUSLY I did not get into teaching for the money. That's never been a true teacher's goal. It's very frustrating to even link teaching with determining my pay... so weird!! I really just want to teach! I LOVE to talk to students and discuss and watch their faces when they figure something out! That is why I love teaching!
Okay... back to being brief... these district tests are created by teachers and retired teachers. Then the creators have to write up an "item map", which basically is a sentence about what each question is regarding. So, for example, if I was going to write a question about limiting the power of our government's branches, I may write a comment that says "checks and balances in American Government". Anyway, the students are given 3 assessment sets, which are suppose to be short answer responses and about 4 - 5 questions. Then they will take one bigger, multiple choice test at the end of the course that is suppose to determine whether or not the kids learned anything. (I'll try to be more objective from this point on... yeah right...)
So... if I attempt to explain more, it will get WAY to unnecessarily complicated... I gave my first assessment set today. Oh wait... one more back story...
Yesterday, my principal stopped in for a spot observation (15 minute observation to help me become a better teacher) in my last period class. I thought we had a great lesson... kids were engaged, discussing, and attempting to come up with a compromise between the northern and southern states. After school, he spent OVER AN HOUR talking to me about my lesson and teaching habits. Here's a tip. You know the conversation is not going to go well when it begins with your principal says "OK... we need to be done with potential." Thus starts an hour of biting the inside of your mouth so you don't have an emotional breakdown... and might I add, it doesn't help if you spouse is out of town when all this goes down...
So, as I was saying, the assessment set. For legal reasons (aka I could lose my job) I can't tell you exactly the questions on the test, BUT, I can tell you this. In geography, the students had to interpret a map, BUT in order to interpret, students needed to be able to tell the difference between the colors on the map. Not a problem, UNLESS YOUR TEST IS IN BLACK AND WHITE!! It is VERY hard to determine the difference between yellow, orange, and white when there is only black and white. In addition, how fair is it to be testing kids on interpreting a geography map but ask them questions about historical events in American history THAT THEY MAY NOT HAVE LEARNED YET? Especially NOT in geography class! So what happens, you ask? I allow the students to use a map of the United States that gives the state names (because, yes, my kids don't know the 50 states) and I have the audacity to tell the kids what the questioners meant when they asked them to find "trends" in a bar graph. The result is my principal (whom I normally have a great relationship with) giving me a HUGE lecture on how all of that was wrong.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you REALLY feel like crying, and you're doing whatever it takes to NOT cry (including biting the inside of your lips and staring at ANYTHING except people, because one look from a person will make you cry)? Well, that was me today at the end of lunch, before my 4th hour class while my principal was telling me all the things I did wrong and me be frustrated because these tests should NOT be held against the students. (Did I mention our principal is making these 4 tests count as 50% of our students grades?!?!) And the result? My principal would NOT stop talking to me, and I started to cry.
Yup... middle of the school day I ACTUALLY have a bit of a breakdown. I'm not talking sobbing, just tears running down my face and I can't make them stop, no matter how hard I try. And what happens next? My principal keeps talking to me... while I'm crying! Then he goes in to cover the first few minutes of my class so I can regroup.
I don't know if any of you have ever seen me after crying, but I become ridiculously splotchy. Even without tears, the feeling of being about to cry makes my face become splotchy. NOT easy to cover up in 5 minutes and be a responsible teacher for the rest of the day. It completely sapped me of all desire to work for the rest of the day... which actually infuriated me, because I LOVE TEACHING!!! I haven't had a day like this since I started teaching, so I suppose I'm due. To be honest, though, I'd much rather be breaking up fights than having emotional breakdowns at school...
All I keep thinking is that tomorrow is a new day... more easily said than done...
So, I resort to doing nothing for the rest of this evening and thinking about my man Ralph Waldo Emerson, who said:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
Off to bed I go, in hopes of following Emerson's wise, sage advice.
Monday, August 16, 2010
The start of a new year...
"You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it within himself." -Galileo Galilei
And so it has begun!! The first week of the new school year has been completed! It's amazing how summer just suddenly ended and I wasn't ready for the first day, and yet, after the first week it's back to the natural swing of things.
We're really lucky this year to have such a great group of new students. It's always sad when I lose a bunch of my favorites to graduation. We never know what types of kids we're going to get the next year. Last year we got a HUGE influx of new students. They were young, mostly freshman and sophomores, which for us, means they are GROSSLY immature. Immaturity and behavior issues in an alternative equals continual drama. This made for a VERY long year... very exhausting, to be quite honest.
BUT, this year we have a great group of students. So far, with few exceptions, the students are very hard-working and REALLY want to succeed in school. I know that it's only the beginning of the second week, and there is still PLENTY of time for students to cause me grief, but my hopes are high for many of these students. I think this will be a great year!!
My only hesitation still has to do with the district changes, BUT I've decided since I can't change anything right now, I'm going to do my best to accept the changes and roll with the punches. We can find out what works and what doesn't and make changes based on that. No reason to stress over something I can't change. It reminds of one of my favorite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson... a nice reminder that we just don't always have control of things, but we can find a way to move on:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
And so it has begun!! The first week of the new school year has been completed! It's amazing how summer just suddenly ended and I wasn't ready for the first day, and yet, after the first week it's back to the natural swing of things.
We're really lucky this year to have such a great group of new students. It's always sad when I lose a bunch of my favorites to graduation. We never know what types of kids we're going to get the next year. Last year we got a HUGE influx of new students. They were young, mostly freshman and sophomores, which for us, means they are GROSSLY immature. Immaturity and behavior issues in an alternative equals continual drama. This made for a VERY long year... very exhausting, to be quite honest.
BUT, this year we have a great group of students. So far, with few exceptions, the students are very hard-working and REALLY want to succeed in school. I know that it's only the beginning of the second week, and there is still PLENTY of time for students to cause me grief, but my hopes are high for many of these students. I think this will be a great year!!
My only hesitation still has to do with the district changes, BUT I've decided since I can't change anything right now, I'm going to do my best to accept the changes and roll with the punches. We can find out what works and what doesn't and make changes based on that. No reason to stress over something I can't change. It reminds of one of my favorite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson... a nice reminder that we just don't always have control of things, but we can find a way to move on:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
Friday, July 30, 2010
Back to School...
Well... the time has almost arrived. It's a love/hate time of year. On the one hand, it was really really nice to be back in my classroom and be surrounded by my goofy coworkers! I was even fortunate enough to be able to use their children as slave labor! UNFORTUNATELY, at the end of each year, I'm a disaster, which I then have to pay for at the beginning of each year. Whoops! Oh well.
I've continued working on my wall maps. It's too sad that my students don't travel. They're happy if they get a chance to leave the city! So, in response to this, I created two big maps on my bulletin boards. One is a map of the United States and the other is a map of the world. Last year, I added photos of places I'd been so students would get the chance to see what other places look like. This year I had the idea of asking friends/family to help build the map more... send photos that I could add to expand my students view of the world. As it is, most of my students are from a low S.E.S., have either broken or extremely screwed up home lives, and many are involved in gangs and/or drugs. Their view of life is low. It is not easy and many don't see a way out. The best I can do, besides attempt to help them realize their vast amounts of potential, is to show them the parts of the world they may not get to see... good parts... beautiful parts. I want my students to dream... maybe they'll dream of visiting other areas, and their dreams may help them see that it is possible for them.
I haven't gotten much more done on my room, but I have done my most favorite part of going back to school. BACK-TO-SCHOOL SUPPLY SHOPPING!! I don't know what it is about new pens, new notebooks, post-its, etc, but I LOVE them!! They just brighten my day and get excited!!! They're so perfect, just waiting to be used. Notebooks ready to be full of information. Colorful post-its just waiting to be put all over my desk or used as a bathroom pass. Aaaaa... I love new supplies. As a treat, I even bought myself some new colorful gel pens. It really makes planning and grading a bit more fun. :)
The other upside to going back to school? My crazy, wonderful coworkers! It was so great to see them, chat with them, and laugh with them again!!
The big downside? Our new pay plan starts this year. We are going to be paid based on how well our students do on standardized tests. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not a fan of this! It's actually stressful to think about it! I have no doubt that I and my fellow colleagues are great teachers, BUT how are my students suppose to demonstrate their knowledge if they write as well as fifth graders? It makes me so mad that no one has come up with a better idea! And my district is all about doing things ONLY one way... no alternative means of testing. The only exception is if students had modifications on the state test, but that doesn't help if students can't write. They still have to do their own writing. My current plan for surviving this stress? Taking "me" time. I already told my husband that at least once a month I'm going to do something stress-free, like a massage or a monthly pedicure. And my weekends will have to be full of school-free things. I've also decided I HAVE to try and find a way not to bring work home with me. It's a must!
Well... to end on a happy thought... I soon have the chance to see all the changes made in my students over the summer... hopefully they're all good changes! :)
P. S. All photos are complimentary of either myself or my wonderful friends/family sharing their photos! :)
Friday, July 23, 2010
Closing time...
For example, seeing as I teach history, and I'm living in a state I was not born and raised, I have spent a hunk of my summer working on learning more about my region. The best part of history is when students can relate history to their lives. Then I spent some time digging through local archives to create assignments based on primary sources. The best history is taught hands on and left to the interpretation of the learners, NOT the interpretations of textbook authors. I have also had to spend time creating quality lesson plans in order to not bore my students during class time and so I don't feel so overwhelmed before lessons. I feel prepared!
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| Globe in Marseilles, France |
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| Gengenbach, Germany |
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| Statue of The Kissers in San Diego, CA |
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| Fort Worth, TX |
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| Port in Savona, Italy |
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| The Mediterranean Sea outside of Savona, Italy |
